We have all heard the saying before. We all use it from time to time. However, I never really believed to have experienced it in my own personal life. Instead, I have used it as general statement, rather than a factual truth. The analogous example that springs to my mind is replying to the ubiquitous question in Australia of “hey mate, how’s it going?” by then replying, “living the dream mate”.
When I stumbled upon this old photo a couple of weeks ago, I for the first time experienced the full effect of this adage. It sent a heavy feeling through my chest. It was as though someone was pressing down hard on it and making it harder for me to breathe. This was followed by a phantasmagorical sequence of images, emotions, and thoughts, all roaring through my mind and body simultaneously. This is when I genuinely believed for the first time, that a picture could be worth a thousand words.
This photograph was taken on the 10th of November 2018, and it is by far the most powerful photo I have ever laid my eyes on. The layers of deepest possible emotions, all juxtaposed on top of each other, is unlike anything I have experienced before. Let us start with the reason the photo was taken in the first place.
This was the day that my best friend in the whole world was getting married. He was also getting married to a woman that I had grown up with — as we had both gone to school together. I had known the bride far longer than I knew the groom, even though the groom was my best friend. On top of that, I am also the reason why they met in the first place. It really was a quasi-fairy-tale story, only this one involved underage drinking with a side of vomit on the bride’s shoes. Not my proudest moment. Finally, this was also the day where I was going to be a best man for the first and more than likely last time. This reason leads us to why the next layer of this photo hits me so hard and why it was even apart of this story at all.
Rhianna and I have been together since the 8th of August 2010. We had been dating for over eight years at the time of this photo. Ever since she was 15 years old, and I was 17 years old. We had grown up together. So many changes happen in a person from the time they are an early teenager, up until they become a fully grown adult. We were still only 24 and 25 years old at the time, however we had already been through what felt like an entire lifetime together. We had just been through the most difficult year of our relationship. Wait I should probably re-phrase that. I had just put her through the most difficult year of our relationship. I did not recognise it at the time, but I absolutely do now, and certainly did know by the time this photo was taken. It is regrettable that it often takes the relationship ending, to be able to open your eyes to what has been unfolding all along. Unfortunately, this is exactly what it took for me to understand.
Rhianna and I hadn’t been together for roughly 6 months before this photo was taken. By this point I was doing anything I could to get her to give me another chance. To prove to her that it was not just empty promises and that I had understood where I had gone wrong. I just needed her to give me the chance to prove it beyond just words. She did not believe me and was just about done with our relationship. She was sick of being hurt time and time again. Then out of nowhere, she shows up to the wedding and watches the ceremony with my dad and my friend Norman. When I asked her “why did you come?” she replied, “On the 1% chance that we would ever get back together, I just didn’t want to miss out on seeing you as a best man”. “This is a really special day, and something just told me that I had to be here”.
This is a microcosm of Rhianna’s entire being. Even typing this right now, I have to pause and think about how powerful those words were. After everything, after knowing that 99% of her mind was made up and that she was done being my girlfriend — she still showed up on the 1% chance that we would ever reconcile our issues and move forward together again. This is a beautiful story now, but it was not a happy memory at the time. She watched the ceremony, took a couple of photos with me, and then left before the reception started. She was very serious. Although, I think knowing how serious she was, makes this moment even more extraordinary. That decision and those words are another reason why this photo is so powerful.
The next reason why this photo is so emotional is obvious to those who know the person standing next to Rhianna. For those that do not know, this person was another one of my best friends. His name was Norman Caves, and sadly he would only live another 18 months after this photo was taken. I want to circle back to the beginning of this post and re-visit the reason why we were all here in the first place. This was the day of my best friend’s wedding and this day in and of itself is the final reason why this photo is so impactful. This night was the most fun I have ever had in my entire life. A day full of love and celebration with some of my best friends in the whole world. A day that saw two families coming together, to celebrate the bond that will now remain between them for eternity. It truly was amazing. I will remember the date of November 10th, 2018 for the rest of my life.
All these stories — instantaneously detonate in my mind and heart — every time I lay eyes on this photo. It is for those reasons, that this picture is worth a thousand words.
1058 words to be precise.